Breaks Are Not Necessary

Sometimes, we need to take a break from life; from school, from our professions, and from healthy habits.  Despite the carefree and exciting nature of breaks and vacations, the fact that we even feel the need to take a break from things is not a good thing in and of itself!  

Breaks are required for when we are working too hard on the same thing and are not living a balanced lifestyle. When we go from the extreme of all work and no play, we go straight to all play and no work because we feel as though the opposite will create the opposite effect that work does, sadness, anger, frustration, etc.  Humans cling to what feels normal and comfortable, and in this commonly fought situation is going to the extreme.  Let's change the non-physical element to the situation instead of what we are doing.  

Often times in life, the actual things we do are not what make them bad, but to the extent of which we love, hate, obsess, use, abuse, or say them.  For example, exercise is neutral term, because exercise to John means working out to the extreme even if sore, while exercising to Alexa has no existence in her life and inactive lifestyle.  Neither of these people are correct due to the lack of balance they both have achieved.  Nothing in life is simply black or white, everything simply falls in the zone between it.  And that is where personal decision making comes in:  we choose how extreme from one side to other we will go.  Even see-saws can find balance.  

Things that often times need balance in our lives include habits that coexist together; things that many would believe cannot exist together in one soul or lifetime.  These can include exercise and rest, water and sodium intake, work and play, and even in relationships, such as when it comes to taking turns and compromising.  Spending time with getting to know others in contrast to getting to know yourself is yet another element that needs to maintain balance within the span of the lives we have been blessed with.  

Let's Face Our Pain

Pain is a factor of life that is just as important as happiness, love, and friendship.  In fact, if there was no pain to ever be felt, there would be no such thing as joy because they are opposites, such as yin and yang.  They complete one another.  

Pain and suffering are things that we as humans must endure to live the happy and fulfilling human-experience that we call life.  Avoiding the things that make us feel sad will not ever make us happy because we know deep in our souls that those things are still in existence, fermenting into larger problems the longer they sit and wait to be dealt with.  I know that feeling head on.  It has been extremely prevalent in my past.  And just recently have I learned that it will not dissipate until I let it come to the surface.  And then, after all my pain was dealt with, I was able to free the caged bird inside of me, and that caged bird is now my inner light; my soul.  

Avoidance hurts ourselves even more than the short pain we feel if we actually faced our issues face-to-face.  That is ironic because the exact reason we avoid pain is to protect ourselves, while in reality we are really making things worse for ourselves, because eventually, that past wound will come up again.  

In my case, I had many past hurts involving my father who abandoned my mom, brother, and I when my brother and I were very young.  A little while after, I was put in a bad situation where a man took advantage of me.  I never faced the truth of these issues.  Pretending that things are okay is not going to make things okay because that is not reality.  And in the words of a child:  it is really a bummer to face things that make us sad.  When we face events that happened in the past that keep us down in the present, we free ourselves.  We actually make joy and happiness a reality because all of the hidden sadness and regret and pain have been dealt with.  

It is never too late to change things.  If you have been avoiding an issue that is ten, twenty, thirty or more years old... you can still talk about it and face it head on with an open heart of understanding and acceptance.  Heal your hurt heart.  Help it soothe and make dissapear the stitches that you mended on its wounds that never fully healed on its own.  

We can never avoid pain because it is part of life, and we are all living.  But that does not mean that life is bad.  Pain is what connects us together as humans; it is what links our individual human-hearts together and makes us unified into the beautiful family called humanity.  

Saying the Two-Letter Word

Saying "no," is such a magical phrase when used in appropriate situations.  It gives us strength; it represents us allowing ourselves to have self-respect and live with it prevalent in our lives.  When we say "no" to others in situations where they are asking us to do something for them or meet up to a particular standard, we are putting our own needs before the needs of others.  Some may call this selfishness, but on the flip-side of the scenario, saying yes to everything... some may call it being a push-over.

When a friend, spouse, co-worker, boss, or other person in our lives asks us to add another "to-do" onto our already long, long lists, we often feel obligated to agree to upholding the tasks responsibilities because we "feel bad" if we decline, really want to help them, or say yes without thinking about the consequences.  All of these causes are very detrimental to our health, and the effects of saying "yes," when you really should have denied the request involve feelings of anger and resentment towards the individual who prompted your assistance,  an overworked body, mind, spirit, and soul, and failure to finish all of the tasks previously assigned to you before you accepted the most recent tasks asked of you to accomplish.  So... wouldn't it just have been better to say no in the first place?

Before saying "yes," to an opportunity, first politely ask to get back to the person in a day or later that day while asking yourself these questions to help you decide on whether you actually can say "yes," to the task!

Example Question:  Hi (your name here!),  I am going to be out of town tomorrow night, so could you please come to my house and feed my cat and dog tomorrow evening and then again in the morning the day after?

1.  Do I have any pre-arranged obligations to attend to during these times already?  
2.  If I don't have any plans already but you have been really busy lately, do I need a break and time for myself instead of taking on another responsibility?
3.  If no the second question...  Am I okay to handle the great responsibility of another living thing or something that doesn't belong to me?  (animals, pets, children, another's home, car, etc)
4.  Am I choosing to say yes out of guilt or pressure, or is this person forcing me to uphold their task?

If you answer yes to numbers 1-3, then take on the responsibility.  It is okay for you to accept the offer because you can handle the responsibilities that comes with it.  If you answer yes to number four, then you SHOULD NOT accept the offer!  Doing something out of intense negative emotions is not healthy.  Be assertive and decline in a respectful and dignified manor, and stay away from this person.  Negative Nellies are not the kind of people your beautiful soul deserves to have in its aura of light and love.
If you have difficulty saying "no," remember that you are doing this for you.  You are not hurting the other's feelings, you are helping your own.  Think about all the other tasks you have on your list at the moment; isn't it better to accomplish all the tasks you have already and decline one then accept all and finish none?  The other person won't feel hurt, they may act out, but that reflects poorly upon themselves, not you.  Stay assertive and self-respectful!  ...  Assertiveness is SEXY!!