Saying "no," is such a magical phrase when used in appropriate situations. It gives us strength; it represents us allowing ourselves to have self-respect and live with it prevalent in our lives. When we say "no" to others in situations where they are asking us to do something for them or meet up to a particular standard, we are putting our own needs before the needs of others. Some may call this selfishness, but on the flip-side of the scenario, saying yes to everything... some may call it being a push-over.
When a friend, spouse, co-worker, boss, or other person in our lives asks us to add another "to-do" onto our already long, long lists, we often feel obligated to agree to upholding the tasks responsibilities because we "feel bad" if we decline, really want to help them, or say yes without thinking about the consequences. All of these causes are very detrimental to our health, and the effects of saying "yes," when you really should have denied the request involve feelings of anger and resentment towards the individual who prompted your assistance, an overworked body, mind, spirit, and soul, and failure to finish all of the tasks previously assigned to you before you accepted the most recent tasks asked of you to accomplish. So... wouldn't it just have been better to say no in the first place?
Before saying "yes," to an opportunity, first politely ask to get back to the person in a day or later that day while asking yourself these questions to help you decide on whether you actually can say "yes," to the task!
Example Question: Hi (your name here!), I am going to be out of town tomorrow night, so could you please come to my house and feed my cat and dog tomorrow evening and then again in the morning the day after?
1. Do I have any pre-arranged obligations to attend to during these times already?
2. If I don't have any plans already but you have been really busy lately, do I need a break and time for myself instead of taking on another responsibility?
3. If no the second question... Am I okay to handle the great responsibility of another living thing or something that doesn't belong to me? (animals, pets, children, another's home, car, etc)
4. Am I choosing to say yes out of guilt or pressure, or is this person forcing me to uphold their task?
If you answer yes to numbers 1-3, then take on the responsibility. It is okay for you to accept the offer because you can handle the responsibilities that comes with it. If you answer yes to number four, then you SHOULD NOT accept the offer! Doing something out of intense negative emotions is not healthy. Be assertive and decline in a respectful and dignified manor, and stay away from this person. Negative Nellies are not the kind of people your beautiful soul deserves to have in its aura of light and love.
If you have difficulty saying "no," remember that you are doing this for you. You are not hurting the other's feelings, you are helping your own. Think about all the other tasks you have on your list at the moment; isn't it better to accomplish all the tasks you have already and decline one then accept all and finish none? The other person won't feel hurt, they may act out, but that reflects poorly upon themselves, not you. Stay assertive and self-respectful! ... Assertiveness is SEXY!!
When a friend, spouse, co-worker, boss, or other person in our lives asks us to add another "to-do" onto our already long, long lists, we often feel obligated to agree to upholding the tasks responsibilities because we "feel bad" if we decline, really want to help them, or say yes without thinking about the consequences. All of these causes are very detrimental to our health, and the effects of saying "yes," when you really should have denied the request involve feelings of anger and resentment towards the individual who prompted your assistance, an overworked body, mind, spirit, and soul, and failure to finish all of the tasks previously assigned to you before you accepted the most recent tasks asked of you to accomplish. So... wouldn't it just have been better to say no in the first place?
Before saying "yes," to an opportunity, first politely ask to get back to the person in a day or later that day while asking yourself these questions to help you decide on whether you actually can say "yes," to the task!
Example Question: Hi (your name here!), I am going to be out of town tomorrow night, so could you please come to my house and feed my cat and dog tomorrow evening and then again in the morning the day after?
1. Do I have any pre-arranged obligations to attend to during these times already?
2. If I don't have any plans already but you have been really busy lately, do I need a break and time for myself instead of taking on another responsibility?
3. If no the second question... Am I okay to handle the great responsibility of another living thing or something that doesn't belong to me? (animals, pets, children, another's home, car, etc)
4. Am I choosing to say yes out of guilt or pressure, or is this person forcing me to uphold their task?
If you answer yes to numbers 1-3, then take on the responsibility. It is okay for you to accept the offer because you can handle the responsibilities that comes with it. If you answer yes to number four, then you SHOULD NOT accept the offer! Doing something out of intense negative emotions is not healthy. Be assertive and decline in a respectful and dignified manor, and stay away from this person. Negative Nellies are not the kind of people your beautiful soul deserves to have in its aura of light and love.
If you have difficulty saying "no," remember that you are doing this for you. You are not hurting the other's feelings, you are helping your own. Think about all the other tasks you have on your list at the moment; isn't it better to accomplish all the tasks you have already and decline one then accept all and finish none? The other person won't feel hurt, they may act out, but that reflects poorly upon themselves, not you. Stay assertive and self-respectful! ... Assertiveness is SEXY!!
No comments:
Post a Comment